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Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Miracles God Hath Wrought, $$
One thing I have marvelled over in my adult life is the fact that no matter how much money a person has, its never enough. We make a decent living now, but we still have to budget to pay our bills. I've seen millionaires have to budget to pay their bills... Such is life! [sigh]
When Christian and I were first married we would not buy gifts for each other at Christmas time because we spent all of our available money on our families. We celebrated Christmas January 25. It was great. Everything was on sale! It was much more private and personal. However, after we had children we felt that they should be a part of the traditional part of Christmas and that's when we started exchanging gifts on December 25.
This one particular year, as it happened, we did not have enough money to buy gifts for our children and our families. One evening as Christian was balancing the checkbook he said a prayer, "Lord, if we had just $200 dollars more we could have a decent Christmas." That prayer was made late on Saturday night.
Sunday morning I was doing my "job", which happens to be my passion and calling, and I was leading in worship. God's presence moved through that auditorium in an awesome way. (It is truly such a delight to be the Music Director at Souls Harbor, they are so ready to praise and worship God.) Anyway, a man walked up to me after service and said, "While you were up there singing this morning I thought, 'that's a $200 song!'"
Right there on the spot he put $200 in my hand!
When Christian says, "Sing it, girl." He ain't kidding!
When Christian and I were first married we would not buy gifts for each other at Christmas time because we spent all of our available money on our families. We celebrated Christmas January 25. It was great. Everything was on sale! It was much more private and personal. However, after we had children we felt that they should be a part of the traditional part of Christmas and that's when we started exchanging gifts on December 25.
This one particular year, as it happened, we did not have enough money to buy gifts for our children and our families. One evening as Christian was balancing the checkbook he said a prayer, "Lord, if we had just $200 dollars more we could have a decent Christmas." That prayer was made late on Saturday night.
Sunday morning I was doing my "job", which happens to be my passion and calling, and I was leading in worship. God's presence moved through that auditorium in an awesome way. (It is truly such a delight to be the Music Director at Souls Harbor, they are so ready to praise and worship God.) Anyway, a man walked up to me after service and said, "While you were up there singing this morning I thought, 'that's a $200 song!'"
Right there on the spot he put $200 in my hand!
When Christian says, "Sing it, girl." He ain't kidding!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Miracles God Hath Wrought, Eyeglasses
I firmly believe in the working of miracles. I believe God uses human beings to perform these miracles. I believe God can work a miracle without the aid of a human being. I've been feeling inspired to tell some of the miracles I have witnessed in my life. Here's one:
A few years a go there was a man visiting our church service. He was a tall man that I gauged to be in his late 50's or early 60's. He was a sharp dressed man who wore glasses. His wife sat with him in service. There were obviously not used to our "style" of worship. Though not mocking they stood in their pew with their hands clasped respectfully in front of them waiting for the next portion of service. We, on the other hand, were clapping, singing, raising our hands, and though I can't remember exactly I wouldn't be at all surprised if some were dancing. (We tend to do that often at Souls Harbor!)
After Pastor was finished preaching he told the congregation that we were going to join in groups of 5 to 8 people and we were going to pray together. If anyone did not want to participate they should simply be seated and no one would bother them. Well, this visiting couple remained standing so those around them forming groups brought them in their group with them. My brother, who never misses an opportunity to be a part of someone receiving the Holy Ghost for the first time went into the midst of this group to lay hands on this couple. ("Lay hands on": put his fingers lightly on the forehead of one he's praying for. It was done over and over in the Bible. Its awesome!) Well, my brother leans toward the short side of a lot of men and this man was on the tall side of most men. This forced my brother to stand on the pew to lay hands on him. (Another common practice in our church. Whatever it takes to facilitate faith!) Jason, (my brother) had prayed for this man a mere 20 or 30 seconds when he, BOOM! Fell straight to the ground between the pews, knocking his glasses from his face! This shocked us all because he was such a stoic individual beforehand!
His wife didn't seem in the least bit perturbed so the people around kept right on praying in the Holy Ghost while my brother got down on the ground to check on the man. The man prayed on the ground for a couple minutes. When he had finished praying he opened his eyes and began to stand up. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He closed his eyes very deliberately and opened them again, looking around. With complete bewilderment he shook his head and asked, "Where's that man that prayed for me?" My brother had been there all along and reaching out his hand he said, "Hi, I'm Jason." The man, shaking his head in awe said, "Who are you?" And without waiting for an answer said, "I've worn glasses all my life. I've never been able to see without my glasses. But I can see perfectly clearly right now! I felt like lightening went through me when you touched me." Still in bewilderment he began to cry.
Unfortunately, I never saw the man again. But I will never forget his testimony. God shows his hand and power in the most amazing ways!
A few years a go there was a man visiting our church service. He was a tall man that I gauged to be in his late 50's or early 60's. He was a sharp dressed man who wore glasses. His wife sat with him in service. There were obviously not used to our "style" of worship. Though not mocking they stood in their pew with their hands clasped respectfully in front of them waiting for the next portion of service. We, on the other hand, were clapping, singing, raising our hands, and though I can't remember exactly I wouldn't be at all surprised if some were dancing. (We tend to do that often at Souls Harbor!)
After Pastor was finished preaching he told the congregation that we were going to join in groups of 5 to 8 people and we were going to pray together. If anyone did not want to participate they should simply be seated and no one would bother them. Well, this visiting couple remained standing so those around them forming groups brought them in their group with them. My brother, who never misses an opportunity to be a part of someone receiving the Holy Ghost for the first time went into the midst of this group to lay hands on this couple. ("Lay hands on": put his fingers lightly on the forehead of one he's praying for. It was done over and over in the Bible. Its awesome!) Well, my brother leans toward the short side of a lot of men and this man was on the tall side of most men. This forced my brother to stand on the pew to lay hands on him. (Another common practice in our church. Whatever it takes to facilitate faith!) Jason, (my brother) had prayed for this man a mere 20 or 30 seconds when he, BOOM! Fell straight to the ground between the pews, knocking his glasses from his face! This shocked us all because he was such a stoic individual beforehand!
His wife didn't seem in the least bit perturbed so the people around kept right on praying in the Holy Ghost while my brother got down on the ground to check on the man. The man prayed on the ground for a couple minutes. When he had finished praying he opened his eyes and began to stand up. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He closed his eyes very deliberately and opened them again, looking around. With complete bewilderment he shook his head and asked, "Where's that man that prayed for me?" My brother had been there all along and reaching out his hand he said, "Hi, I'm Jason." The man, shaking his head in awe said, "Who are you?" And without waiting for an answer said, "I've worn glasses all my life. I've never been able to see without my glasses. But I can see perfectly clearly right now! I felt like lightening went through me when you touched me." Still in bewilderment he began to cry.
Unfortunately, I never saw the man again. But I will never forget his testimony. God shows his hand and power in the most amazing ways!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
God's Got Gas!!!
I know! I know! The title of this blog is totally tacky as it implies that our Lord has flatulence. But now that I have your attention, let me explain. =)
Today I was running late for an appointment at my son's audiologist. My plans were to swing by the gas station before picking up my son because my needle had indicated for DAYS that I was running on empty. But before I swung into the gas station near my house I made last minute decision. "Pick up Madio, then go get gas."
So I picked up Madio; but then I remembered that there were a list of pianos in the classifieds for sale and we desperately need a new piano. I'm not kidding! I'm not using the word "need" lightly We're the music directors at a large church. We have a studio in our house. We write music. A piano is a basic need for our family. My kids both are avid piano students. I have added to the need by making it part of my new year's resolution to play the piano myself. So, while alone at home, feeling the liberty of being alone & just really going for it artistically, I felt my cheerios just enough to grab the top, highest note & sliiide my hands in a dramatic, loud, ANOINTED manner, dropping them into the position of my newly learned chord. I BROKE MY PIANO! Its 150 years old. (Again, no exaggeration.) Three of its keys were already sunken, & now the most used A-flat key is flush with the rest of the piano! I broke the black part right off! So I need a piano.
As I was finishing up my fourth phone call my foot felt the all-too-familiar "nothing". You know that feeling when you press the pedal & there should be a rev, an acceleration but instead you go slower? That's what we did; we went slower. I had forgotten to stop by the gas station! I turned on my hazard lights & coasted as far as I could. I really did not want to push my car. Its so embarrassing to push a car! Thankfully I coasted into a church parking lot & kept coasting until I had made a complete U-turn facing the highway again. My son was saying, "Aw, man! Man!" (I'm not sure what man he was calling on.) I knew I should have gotten gas. I knew it was my fault and that I had no reason to bring God into the mix. But... I happen to know that he likes me. I don't know WHY he likes me! I fail him. I whine to him. But he still likes me! ...and I know it.
So, I closed my eyes and said aloud, "God, please forgive me for not taking care of getting gasoline. I know I should have. But I need to get Madio to this appointment and I'm asking you to get me to a gas station. In Jesus' name. Amen."
I turned the key and sure enough; VROOM! My car started up like it had a full tank of gas! I pulled out on the highway, no coasting! I drove about a quarter of a mile and there was the gas station ahead on the right. I did not coast. I drove right up to the pump. Like the spoiled Princess of the King of kings I am, I put in my measly fifteen bucks and got my son to the audiologists.
One of these days I'll tell you my grandfather's gas story. (No beano needed.) But today, that's mine!
Today I was running late for an appointment at my son's audiologist. My plans were to swing by the gas station before picking up my son because my needle had indicated for DAYS that I was running on empty. But before I swung into the gas station near my house I made last minute decision. "Pick up Madio, then go get gas."
So I picked up Madio; but then I remembered that there were a list of pianos in the classifieds for sale and we desperately need a new piano. I'm not kidding! I'm not using the word "need" lightly We're the music directors at a large church. We have a studio in our house. We write music. A piano is a basic need for our family. My kids both are avid piano students. I have added to the need by making it part of my new year's resolution to play the piano myself. So, while alone at home, feeling the liberty of being alone & just really going for it artistically, I felt my cheerios just enough to grab the top, highest note & sliiide my hands in a dramatic, loud, ANOINTED manner, dropping them into the position of my newly learned chord. I BROKE MY PIANO! Its 150 years old. (Again, no exaggeration.) Three of its keys were already sunken, & now the most used A-flat key is flush with the rest of the piano! I broke the black part right off! So I need a piano.
As I was finishing up my fourth phone call my foot felt the all-too-familiar "nothing". You know that feeling when you press the pedal & there should be a rev, an acceleration but instead you go slower? That's what we did; we went slower. I had forgotten to stop by the gas station! I turned on my hazard lights & coasted as far as I could. I really did not want to push my car. Its so embarrassing to push a car! Thankfully I coasted into a church parking lot & kept coasting until I had made a complete U-turn facing the highway again. My son was saying, "Aw, man! Man!" (I'm not sure what man he was calling on.) I knew I should have gotten gas. I knew it was my fault and that I had no reason to bring God into the mix. But... I happen to know that he likes me. I don't know WHY he likes me! I fail him. I whine to him. But he still likes me! ...and I know it.
So, I closed my eyes and said aloud, "God, please forgive me for not taking care of getting gasoline. I know I should have. But I need to get Madio to this appointment and I'm asking you to get me to a gas station. In Jesus' name. Amen."
I turned the key and sure enough; VROOM! My car started up like it had a full tank of gas! I pulled out on the highway, no coasting! I drove about a quarter of a mile and there was the gas station ahead on the right. I did not coast. I drove right up to the pump. Like the spoiled Princess of the King of kings I am, I put in my measly fifteen bucks and got my son to the audiologists.
One of these days I'll tell you my grandfather's gas story. (No beano needed.) But today, that's mine!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
S'mores Toast Recipe
This has become a new fav for me and Christian. (I made it up!)
Ingredients:
1 slice of bread. (We use whitewheat.)
1 tbsp Nutella
1 tbsp Marshmallow Fluff
Directions:
Spread the bread with the Nutella (try not to plunge your finger into the midst of the yummy chocolate goodness!) Spread a layer of marshmallow fluff over the top of the Nutella. Pop in the toaster oven (or broiler) until the desired doneness of the marshmallow fluff. (For me that's a slight brown glaze, for Christian that's a nearly solid black top.)
Remember your new year's resolutions and try not to eat too many!
Calorie: 184, Fat: 6.4, Carbs: 29.2!!!, Protein: 3.5
Ingredients:
1 slice of bread. (We use whitewheat.)
1 tbsp Nutella
1 tbsp Marshmallow Fluff
Directions:
Spread the bread with the Nutella (try not to plunge your finger into the midst of the yummy chocolate goodness!) Spread a layer of marshmallow fluff over the top of the Nutella. Pop in the toaster oven (or broiler) until the desired doneness of the marshmallow fluff. (For me that's a slight brown glaze, for Christian that's a nearly solid black top.)
Remember your new year's resolutions and try not to eat too many!
Calorie: 184, Fat: 6.4, Carbs: 29.2!!!, Protein: 3.5
Monday, January 26, 2009
Richardson Family Bible study, 1/26/09
Tonight’s family Bible study had so many wonderful moments; I laughed, I cried; I truly enjoyed myself.
We started our Bible study tonight before having dinner and the kids were “starving”. So as soon as the burgers were finished we took an intermission. Leading up to that intermission Christian taught how God did not accept Cain’s offering, how he accepted Abel’s because it was a blood sacrifice. (We assume it was because Abel’s was a blood sacrifice.) Christian taught how Jesus would be that ultimate, perfect blood offering to atone for all our sins. Morgan came alive at this point! She said, “Oh, now I know why when the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side blood and water came out! The water was like a spiritual picture of water baptism!”
Thank God for a spirit of revelation right in our living room!
After our Burger Break we were back, bursting with questions and comments. At one point Madison asked in a shocked, disgusted tone, “Do you mean Ham had to marry his sister?!”
I fell over laughing as Morgan, very haughtily said, “No! They didn’t get married Madison, they just slept together.”
Of course Christian brought as all back on track by saying, “First of all, Ham already had a wife. It was Cain and Abel who married their sister. And they did get married.”
The last of that conversation was Morgan saying, “Stop laughing, Mommy.”
When Christian told us that even after the flood people still disobeyed God. Christian said, “humans began to wander further and further from God. Madison shook his head and said, “I’m not gonna ever leave God.”
That brought about the “I cried” part.
After the Bible study we all went our separate ways to get ready for bed. The final words we heard as our daughter, Morgan, rounded the corner upstairs, out of our sight was, “I love the Word!”
We started our Bible study tonight before having dinner and the kids were “starving”. So as soon as the burgers were finished we took an intermission. Leading up to that intermission Christian taught how God did not accept Cain’s offering, how he accepted Abel’s because it was a blood sacrifice. (We assume it was because Abel’s was a blood sacrifice.) Christian taught how Jesus would be that ultimate, perfect blood offering to atone for all our sins. Morgan came alive at this point! She said, “Oh, now I know why when the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side blood and water came out! The water was like a spiritual picture of water baptism!”
Thank God for a spirit of revelation right in our living room!
After our Burger Break we were back, bursting with questions and comments. At one point Madison asked in a shocked, disgusted tone, “Do you mean Ham had to marry his sister?!”
I fell over laughing as Morgan, very haughtily said, “No! They didn’t get married Madison, they just slept together.”
Of course Christian brought as all back on track by saying, “First of all, Ham already had a wife. It was Cain and Abel who married their sister. And they did get married.”
The last of that conversation was Morgan saying, “Stop laughing, Mommy.”
When Christian told us that even after the flood people still disobeyed God. Christian said, “humans began to wander further and further from God. Madison shook his head and said, “I’m not gonna ever leave God.”
That brought about the “I cried” part.
After the Bible study we all went our separate ways to get ready for bed. The final words we heard as our daughter, Morgan, rounded the corner upstairs, out of our sight was, “I love the Word!”
Happy Are the Peacemakers
It is vital that we human beings to live in a peaceful environment. When a person is fearful of another, or anger is constantly triggered, or they abide in an anxious environment more than an unpleasant emotion is experienced. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The inside of your body begins to work hard even if all you’re doing is sitting in a chair! You, your family, your coworkers could begin to experience health problems directly stemming from a lack of peace in your environment. Studies have shown that the constant flood of stress chemicals that accompany recurrent unmanaged anger, fear, etc. can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some health problems include:
Headache
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
Insomnia
Increased anxiety
Depression
High blood pressure
Skin problems, such as eczema
Heart attack
Stroke
Jesus demonstrated to us how to create a peaceful environment one day while taking a boat ride. While he slept a storm erupted that scared his fellow travelers out of their minds. Then they woke him up. Please allow me to view Jesus through my own perspective. Since I really, really do not l like to be awakened I think Jesus was not happy about being brought out of his slumber. I know, all you morning lovers see Jesus as springing from his cot with a wide-spread stretch and hustle to get on the job. But not me and I ‘m pretty sure Jesus pretended to keep sleeping for a couple seconds to see if they’d go away. When they didn’t, he opened his eyes to a bare minimum, a tiny slit that allowed his facial muscles to register annoyance with a hint of “pity me”. When they pulled on him enough he got up and did not stretch, for that would ruin ANY hope of actually being able to fall back to sleep, & of course that’s exactly what he intended to do. (According to my way of thinking.) As he shuffled, eyes still in slit mode, irritation finally made its way to his throat when he realized that the spray of water would definitely ruin his chances of falling back into the blissful slumber he had been so enjoying. A low guttural growl finally brings him to the awareness of the situation.
Of course the disciples had never heard the Sunday school story about Jesus calming the storms. His followers didn’t have a New Testament KJV, NIV, or TLB to read. Here they were treading water in their boat, likely bailing their heads off while Jesus is napping! When they said (Mark 4:38) “Don’t you care if we drown?” They didn’t think he would actually calm the storm; they simply wanted him to join their bailing efforts! This was an “all hands on deck” situation and no one likes to watch someone else take a luxurious nap while they’re working hard! Misery loves company, as they say. But Jesus wasn’t about to join their drama. Jesus refused to be pulled in by their fear. He was not going to allow himself to be sucked in to their frenzy.
Mark 4:39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. NIV
I have heard my whole life that Jesus will bring calm to my storm. And he has, does & will continue to intervene in my life’s storms. But Jesus did not intend to calm storms for those disciples anymore. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Faith to do what? FOR CALMING YOUR OWN STORM! Christ said that with faith we can move mountains; why couldn’t we calm a storm too? There is a beautiful song that I have sung for many years that says, “I know the Peace speaker. I know him by name.” I’ll sing the song many more times. It ministers & brings hope. But I have come to the conclusion that I do indeed “know the peace speaker.” I truly know the name of the “peace speaker”; for my life it is, Denee Elaine Richardson! For your life the peace speaker is none other than yourself.
The famous, King James Version phrase says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” The Living Bible puts Matthew 5:9 like this, “Happy are those who strive for peace.” If we want a peaceful home we must use our God-given authority and demand it be so! When our children are fighting among themselves we have got to step into that storm and say, “Be quiet! Be still!” When we find ourselves continually bickering with our spouse we’ve got to tell them, “Be quiet!” NOT REALLY! (That would be the fight to end it all, for sure!) But you’ve truly got to tell someone to be quiet and still; yourself. You know one of the meanings of the word “peace” is, “to be friendly, to make amends, end, finish.” At some point you’ve got to face the facts that your marriage, your social life, or your work environment is one big storm and everybody is bailing frantically to save their own skin. That bailing comes out in spiteful words, or haughty looks. Its hard work and you may either be bailing along with everybody, or found a of a type of slumber, a way to tune everybody out. Well, your slumber just may be adding to the problem. Don’t bail and don’t sleep. Instead walk to the front of that ship and say “Be quiet!” by sending a note of appreciation to a co-worker. Say “Be still.” with flowers and an apology to a spouse. Demand peace by playing a game with your children. Strive for peace by humbling yourself.
Happy are those who STRIVE for peace. Indeed, creating a peaceful environment requires some work. You will have to exert yourself vigorously. You’ll have to try hard. The job is sometimes strenuous. But the end result is happiness.
Jesus will bring peace to your storm, but so can you.
Headache
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
Insomnia
Increased anxiety
Depression
High blood pressure
Skin problems, such as eczema
Heart attack
Stroke
Jesus demonstrated to us how to create a peaceful environment one day while taking a boat ride. While he slept a storm erupted that scared his fellow travelers out of their minds. Then they woke him up. Please allow me to view Jesus through my own perspective. Since I really, really do not l like to be awakened I think Jesus was not happy about being brought out of his slumber. I know, all you morning lovers see Jesus as springing from his cot with a wide-spread stretch and hustle to get on the job. But not me and I ‘m pretty sure Jesus pretended to keep sleeping for a couple seconds to see if they’d go away. When they didn’t, he opened his eyes to a bare minimum, a tiny slit that allowed his facial muscles to register annoyance with a hint of “pity me”. When they pulled on him enough he got up and did not stretch, for that would ruin ANY hope of actually being able to fall back to sleep, & of course that’s exactly what he intended to do. (According to my way of thinking.) As he shuffled, eyes still in slit mode, irritation finally made its way to his throat when he realized that the spray of water would definitely ruin his chances of falling back into the blissful slumber he had been so enjoying. A low guttural growl finally brings him to the awareness of the situation.
Of course the disciples had never heard the Sunday school story about Jesus calming the storms. His followers didn’t have a New Testament KJV, NIV, or TLB to read. Here they were treading water in their boat, likely bailing their heads off while Jesus is napping! When they said (Mark 4:38) “Don’t you care if we drown?” They didn’t think he would actually calm the storm; they simply wanted him to join their bailing efforts! This was an “all hands on deck” situation and no one likes to watch someone else take a luxurious nap while they’re working hard! Misery loves company, as they say. But Jesus wasn’t about to join their drama. Jesus refused to be pulled in by their fear. He was not going to allow himself to be sucked in to their frenzy.
Mark 4:39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. NIV
I have heard my whole life that Jesus will bring calm to my storm. And he has, does & will continue to intervene in my life’s storms. But Jesus did not intend to calm storms for those disciples anymore. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Faith to do what? FOR CALMING YOUR OWN STORM! Christ said that with faith we can move mountains; why couldn’t we calm a storm too? There is a beautiful song that I have sung for many years that says, “I know the Peace speaker. I know him by name.” I’ll sing the song many more times. It ministers & brings hope. But I have come to the conclusion that I do indeed “know the peace speaker.” I truly know the name of the “peace speaker”; for my life it is, Denee Elaine Richardson! For your life the peace speaker is none other than yourself.
The famous, King James Version phrase says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” The Living Bible puts Matthew 5:9 like this, “Happy are those who strive for peace.” If we want a peaceful home we must use our God-given authority and demand it be so! When our children are fighting among themselves we have got to step into that storm and say, “Be quiet! Be still!” When we find ourselves continually bickering with our spouse we’ve got to tell them, “Be quiet!” NOT REALLY! (That would be the fight to end it all, for sure!) But you’ve truly got to tell someone to be quiet and still; yourself. You know one of the meanings of the word “peace” is, “to be friendly, to make amends, end, finish.” At some point you’ve got to face the facts that your marriage, your social life, or your work environment is one big storm and everybody is bailing frantically to save their own skin. That bailing comes out in spiteful words, or haughty looks. Its hard work and you may either be bailing along with everybody, or found a of a type of slumber, a way to tune everybody out. Well, your slumber just may be adding to the problem. Don’t bail and don’t sleep. Instead walk to the front of that ship and say “Be quiet!” by sending a note of appreciation to a co-worker. Say “Be still.” with flowers and an apology to a spouse. Demand peace by playing a game with your children. Strive for peace by humbling yourself.
Happy are those who STRIVE for peace. Indeed, creating a peaceful environment requires some work. You will have to exert yourself vigorously. You’ll have to try hard. The job is sometimes strenuous. But the end result is happiness.
Jesus will bring peace to your storm, but so can you.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A Long Thought About Divorce
I’ve always wondered why the scripture didn’t spell out in detail why “God hates divorce”. (Malachi 2:16) From this passage we can know surely because divorce is a violent act. (This chapter uses the words “treacherous” & “violence”. Ooooo.) But I have been living in a country plagued with divorce long enough to figure that there are other reasons besides how a woman is treated to hate divorce. I shall now offer my humble opinion:
1. The “violence” to the spouse.
Today’s spouse may say of the other, “I don’t love them anymore. They don’t love me.” & that is sufficient grounds for a divorce. After all, should that person have to live in a home where love is not given? Should that person be required to resist all happiness that stems from the realm of romance?
Malachi chapter two lets us know that divorce is a sparkly, pretty cloth. Its “legal” & that makes it alright. It’s a perfect covering for the ugly, gory, bloody ripping apart of a marriage.
I’ve NEVER seen a divorce be nonchalant. Even for the spouse that the scripture gave them a “right” to divorce. (Matthew 19:9 “except it be for fornication”.) Even for that one who is disgusted by their spouse's choices of immorality. Even they are left mutilated by the ravages of divorce.
2. The affect on the children.
Need I say more?! I’ve seen children live with fighting, brawling parents turn out with a stronger disposition & greater confidence than kids who’ve gone through a divorce. (I don’t mean physical fights. I mean loud, shouting matches.) I’m not saying that it’s a good thing for children to have to live in an environment where parents yell at & degrade each other all the time. But I am saying that as difficult as that is for a child, divorce is a million times worse. I don’t have enough time or space to go in to all the negative affects divorce has on kids… Thank God, I don’t have enough time or space.
3. The affect on extended family.
“Oh, what?! Are you kidding me? We’ve got to consider in-laws, & aunts, & cousins?”
Yep. And Nieces, and nephews… & the list goes on. Why is it no one ever thinks about how a sister-in-law is going to explain to her children why Uncle won’t be around the tree for Christmas? The ideas divorce conveys concerning lack of worth in astounding. We instill in people’s mind that they are unvalued when they are “just a niece”, or “her grandparents”, or “his Aunt”. These people are FAM-I-LY! They have spend time worrying about you. If you’re lucky enough, praying for you. They spend time, when they could be living care-free, pondering your difficulties! I read sometime ago about a certain culture (I wish I could remember who this was!) that the couple’s first month of marriage was spent moving from house to house of their new family. They’d spend a week with Uncle Joe, a few nights at a cousin's, a week with the parents or grandparents. The purpose of this was to instill the understanding in the young couple’s mind that they were a part of something much bigger than themselves. They were not two independent decision makers. Everything they did affected the entire family. How true it is!
4. The future family.
So, you just HAVE to divorce that lousy, no-good-for-nothin' spouse. And life is going to be PERFECT with your soul-mate, who is out there, somewhere, right now looking for you!
This stems from a phone call I received many years ago. My friend who had been in an unhappy, selfish marriage, was divorced by her husband (who had been cheating on her!) She was now remarried to a man who literally served her. They are still married and he is a joy to behold. His love for her is like Christ’s love for the church, truly. I answered the phone with the normal, “Hello?” and the first words I heard were a sobbed out,
“Now I know why God hates divorce!”
She commenced to tell me all about her husband’s ex-wife’s annoyances. The jealousies she felt toward this woman. The trials of dealing with “his & mine”. Before she had to concern herself with getting her children to two sets of grandparents houses for holidays, now she delicately scheduled the kids to be at FOUR sets of grandparents! Of course sometimes “his ex” was responsible for getting “his” kids to "her" parents, but if it wasn’t on the exact day they wanted it was a big fight. The children were played like pieces on a chess board.
After listening for quite some time I had the audacity to open my big trap & say, “I hate to tell you this, but once your grandkids come you’ll be dealing with “his ex” even more!”
I should have been shot on the spot for that remark.
But its true! In the moment, all a suffering spouse can think of is getting a divorce. “Surely a divorce will make life peaceful again! Surely a divorce will allow some joy to enter my life again!”
Perhaps there will be happiness again. But with that happiness may come even more difficult surroundings.
So, is a person to stay in an abusive marriage? NO! NO! NO! Leave that spouse TODAY and go get some help and protection.
Is a person to stay in a loveless marriage?
…maybe.
You should weigh out all the possibilities and decide which ones you can live with best.
Most importantly, make sure that you study the scripture to know what God has to say about divorce. After all, crossing my opinions is no big deal. I won’t strike you with lightening. I won’t write nasty things about you. I’ll just let you go on… being WRONG! (just kidding.)
But seriously, you don’t want to cross God’s opinions. Will he strike you with lightening? Will he write nasty things about you? Truly, the Bible does show him doing that sometimes, but I don’t imagine him to do that to you. However, it may make it harder in your own mind to have an open relationship with your Creator; and personally, there is no punishment harder to deal with than that.
1. The “violence” to the spouse.
Today’s spouse may say of the other, “I don’t love them anymore. They don’t love me.” & that is sufficient grounds for a divorce. After all, should that person have to live in a home where love is not given? Should that person be required to resist all happiness that stems from the realm of romance?
Malachi chapter two lets us know that divorce is a sparkly, pretty cloth. Its “legal” & that makes it alright. It’s a perfect covering for the ugly, gory, bloody ripping apart of a marriage.
I’ve NEVER seen a divorce be nonchalant. Even for the spouse that the scripture gave them a “right” to divorce. (Matthew 19:9 “except it be for fornication”.) Even for that one who is disgusted by their spouse's choices of immorality. Even they are left mutilated by the ravages of divorce.
2. The affect on the children.
Need I say more?! I’ve seen children live with fighting, brawling parents turn out with a stronger disposition & greater confidence than kids who’ve gone through a divorce. (I don’t mean physical fights. I mean loud, shouting matches.) I’m not saying that it’s a good thing for children to have to live in an environment where parents yell at & degrade each other all the time. But I am saying that as difficult as that is for a child, divorce is a million times worse. I don’t have enough time or space to go in to all the negative affects divorce has on kids… Thank God, I don’t have enough time or space.
3. The affect on extended family.
“Oh, what?! Are you kidding me? We’ve got to consider in-laws, & aunts, & cousins?”
Yep. And Nieces, and nephews… & the list goes on. Why is it no one ever thinks about how a sister-in-law is going to explain to her children why Uncle won’t be around the tree for Christmas? The ideas divorce conveys concerning lack of worth in astounding. We instill in people’s mind that they are unvalued when they are “just a niece”, or “her grandparents”, or “his Aunt”. These people are FAM-I-LY! They have spend time worrying about you. If you’re lucky enough, praying for you. They spend time, when they could be living care-free, pondering your difficulties! I read sometime ago about a certain culture (I wish I could remember who this was!) that the couple’s first month of marriage was spent moving from house to house of their new family. They’d spend a week with Uncle Joe, a few nights at a cousin's, a week with the parents or grandparents. The purpose of this was to instill the understanding in the young couple’s mind that they were a part of something much bigger than themselves. They were not two independent decision makers. Everything they did affected the entire family. How true it is!
4. The future family.
So, you just HAVE to divorce that lousy, no-good-for-nothin' spouse. And life is going to be PERFECT with your soul-mate, who is out there, somewhere, right now looking for you!
This stems from a phone call I received many years ago. My friend who had been in an unhappy, selfish marriage, was divorced by her husband (who had been cheating on her!) She was now remarried to a man who literally served her. They are still married and he is a joy to behold. His love for her is like Christ’s love for the church, truly. I answered the phone with the normal, “Hello?” and the first words I heard were a sobbed out,
“Now I know why God hates divorce!”
She commenced to tell me all about her husband’s ex-wife’s annoyances. The jealousies she felt toward this woman. The trials of dealing with “his & mine”. Before she had to concern herself with getting her children to two sets of grandparents houses for holidays, now she delicately scheduled the kids to be at FOUR sets of grandparents! Of course sometimes “his ex” was responsible for getting “his” kids to "her" parents, but if it wasn’t on the exact day they wanted it was a big fight. The children were played like pieces on a chess board.
After listening for quite some time I had the audacity to open my big trap & say, “I hate to tell you this, but once your grandkids come you’ll be dealing with “his ex” even more!”
I should have been shot on the spot for that remark.
But its true! In the moment, all a suffering spouse can think of is getting a divorce. “Surely a divorce will make life peaceful again! Surely a divorce will allow some joy to enter my life again!”
Perhaps there will be happiness again. But with that happiness may come even more difficult surroundings.
So, is a person to stay in an abusive marriage? NO! NO! NO! Leave that spouse TODAY and go get some help and protection.
Is a person to stay in a loveless marriage?
…maybe.
You should weigh out all the possibilities and decide which ones you can live with best.
Most importantly, make sure that you study the scripture to know what God has to say about divorce. After all, crossing my opinions is no big deal. I won’t strike you with lightening. I won’t write nasty things about you. I’ll just let you go on… being WRONG! (just kidding.)
But seriously, you don’t want to cross God’s opinions. Will he strike you with lightening? Will he write nasty things about you? Truly, the Bible does show him doing that sometimes, but I don’t imagine him to do that to you. However, it may make it harder in your own mind to have an open relationship with your Creator; and personally, there is no punishment harder to deal with than that.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Both Sides of the Coin
I have an acquaintance, which shall remained unnamed, who suffers from all that is associated with a family member being brutally murdered. When I am with my friend I do a lot of head-nodding, I say, "uh-huh," I truly feel pain for my friend but it would be ludicrous for me to say, "I know how you feel." I don't know the load of this burden & I pray I never do.
As much as I believe forgiveness is a necessity for salvation, (Jesus said, "If you don't forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will not forgive you...") I'm at a loss to look such suffering people in the eye & say, "You must forgive that murderer." I hope that I would if I were in that position. I hope I would not sink into the black hole of anger & malice. The pain of sliding down into the Hole of Hate is, I know, as awful as the pain of loss itself. I've seen those consumed by hate resort to pills & booze. I've seen marriages ruined because of an ever consuming need for revenge. I've seen children's futures ruined because their parents were eaten up by hate & anger.
And though I can utter the words, "The Bible says to forgive," I can't personally, within myself, understand how difficult it must be to forgive someone who killed your flesh & blood. Also, how can a person not FEEL disgust toward such a murderer? I can't help when I feel happiness. I can't help when I feel sadness. How can people not feel anger?
The conclusion I've come to is that while we can't help how we feel, we can help how we behave. One of the behaviors we can allow to become a habit is that every time we feel that unbidden anger rise up we can, right then & there, hit our knees & ask God to help us feel differently. For God would not tell us to do something that is impossible. If we are to forgive such atrocities, surely he will step in & help where we have no control. Also, whereas we cannot control a feeling we can control our thought patterns.
The Bible tells us to "gird up the loins of our mind." When you think of the word "gird" remember that its short for "girdle". What's the purpose of a girdle? To restrain. Of course the word "loins" has to do with a man's reproductive system. So we must "restrain the reproduction of our thoughts." If a man sees a tall, shapely woman he can't help but think, "She's beautiful." But if he allows his thoughts to dwell on that woman, even though he may not even know her name, if he does not control his thought processes he'll find himself, as Jesus said, committing adultery in his heart. So be they thoughts of lust or hate, our thought patterns MUST be altered to that which is good.
Usually those feelings of hate & anger come after an unbidden thought. A thought pattern may go something like this:
"This was Bethany's favorite flower. I'd spend my entire paycheck buying out this store if she were still with us."
Without ever thinking about the killer the feelings of hate come simply because of thinking about the loss of the loved one. So, what's a person to do? Never think about their loved one again? NO! (I can't stress that enough. Its healthy to think about & shed tears over the loss of a loved one.) But instead when you think about them & realize the anger that you're feeling START DIRECTING YOUR THOUGHTS ON PURPOSE. Think:
"This was Bethany's favorite flower. I'd spend my entire paycheck buying out this store if she were still with us." The unbidden feeling comes. "Bethany liked to put these flowers in her bedroom window. I'm going to honor Bethany right now. Who do I know that is sick? I'm going to buy this flower & take it to them."
This thought process made you aware of other's pain besides your own. This thought process gave honor to & focus on the loved one while distracting your emotions from the deep-seated pangs of hate.
Also, lest we lose our balance in the realm of forgiveness, dare I bring up that there are two sides to every coin. While Jesus did say, "Turn the other cheek," & "Forgive those who spitefully use you", & we know he himself said while dying on the cross, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." We should not forget that forgiving someone for what they did to you, & forgiving someone for what they did to someone you love MAY be different. (Goodness, am I messing with traditional "forgiveness doctrines"!) Indeed, we find Jesus "taking care of business" when certain Temple officials were abusing the people Jesus loved. They were doing more than abusing the people Jesus loved, they were abusing His rules! Jesus DID NOT look at that situation & say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Rather he made himself a whip & took matters into his own hand! (Ouch!)
I admit (& it may be obvious) that I don't know all the hows, whys, & whats about forgiveness; but I do want to be right with God. I want my friend to be right with God. I ultimately told my friend that I felt the only course of action in dealing with the anger felt toward this murderer was to daily ask God's mercy be present, to ask him to help with the myriad feelings, to "gird up the loins of the mind", & to speak openly & honestly with the Creator. God can can do miracles with honesty.
"God, help us be more like you. When we are weak you are strong. Help me to know the balance of how to forgive & how to stand for what's right. What is humanity that you think about us & want to spend time with us? Thank you for your help & involvement in our lives. In Jesus' name, Amen."
As much as I believe forgiveness is a necessity for salvation, (Jesus said, "If you don't forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will not forgive you...") I'm at a loss to look such suffering people in the eye & say, "You must forgive that murderer." I hope that I would if I were in that position. I hope I would not sink into the black hole of anger & malice. The pain of sliding down into the Hole of Hate is, I know, as awful as the pain of loss itself. I've seen those consumed by hate resort to pills & booze. I've seen marriages ruined because of an ever consuming need for revenge. I've seen children's futures ruined because their parents were eaten up by hate & anger.
And though I can utter the words, "The Bible says to forgive," I can't personally, within myself, understand how difficult it must be to forgive someone who killed your flesh & blood. Also, how can a person not FEEL disgust toward such a murderer? I can't help when I feel happiness. I can't help when I feel sadness. How can people not feel anger?
The conclusion I've come to is that while we can't help how we feel, we can help how we behave. One of the behaviors we can allow to become a habit is that every time we feel that unbidden anger rise up we can, right then & there, hit our knees & ask God to help us feel differently. For God would not tell us to do something that is impossible. If we are to forgive such atrocities, surely he will step in & help where we have no control. Also, whereas we cannot control a feeling we can control our thought patterns.
The Bible tells us to "gird up the loins of our mind." When you think of the word "gird" remember that its short for "girdle". What's the purpose of a girdle? To restrain. Of course the word "loins" has to do with a man's reproductive system. So we must "restrain the reproduction of our thoughts." If a man sees a tall, shapely woman he can't help but think, "She's beautiful." But if he allows his thoughts to dwell on that woman, even though he may not even know her name, if he does not control his thought processes he'll find himself, as Jesus said, committing adultery in his heart. So be they thoughts of lust or hate, our thought patterns MUST be altered to that which is good.
Usually those feelings of hate & anger come after an unbidden thought. A thought pattern may go something like this:
"This was Bethany's favorite flower. I'd spend my entire paycheck buying out this store if she were still with us."
Without ever thinking about the killer the feelings of hate come simply because of thinking about the loss of the loved one. So, what's a person to do? Never think about their loved one again? NO! (I can't stress that enough. Its healthy to think about & shed tears over the loss of a loved one.) But instead when you think about them & realize the anger that you're feeling START DIRECTING YOUR THOUGHTS ON PURPOSE. Think:
"This was Bethany's favorite flower. I'd spend my entire paycheck buying out this store if she were still with us." The unbidden feeling comes. "Bethany liked to put these flowers in her bedroom window. I'm going to honor Bethany right now. Who do I know that is sick? I'm going to buy this flower & take it to them."
This thought process made you aware of other's pain besides your own. This thought process gave honor to & focus on the loved one while distracting your emotions from the deep-seated pangs of hate.
Also, lest we lose our balance in the realm of forgiveness, dare I bring up that there are two sides to every coin. While Jesus did say, "Turn the other cheek," & "Forgive those who spitefully use you", & we know he himself said while dying on the cross, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." We should not forget that forgiving someone for what they did to you, & forgiving someone for what they did to someone you love MAY be different. (Goodness, am I messing with traditional "forgiveness doctrines"!) Indeed, we find Jesus "taking care of business" when certain Temple officials were abusing the people Jesus loved. They were doing more than abusing the people Jesus loved, they were abusing His rules! Jesus DID NOT look at that situation & say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Rather he made himself a whip & took matters into his own hand! (Ouch!)
I admit (& it may be obvious) that I don't know all the hows, whys, & whats about forgiveness; but I do want to be right with God. I want my friend to be right with God. I ultimately told my friend that I felt the only course of action in dealing with the anger felt toward this murderer was to daily ask God's mercy be present, to ask him to help with the myriad feelings, to "gird up the loins of the mind", & to speak openly & honestly with the Creator. God can can do miracles with honesty.
"God, help us be more like you. When we are weak you are strong. Help me to know the balance of how to forgive & how to stand for what's right. What is humanity that you think about us & want to spend time with us? Thank you for your help & involvement in our lives. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Matters of the Home
I love life! I like what I do; homeschool my kids, write music, teach Bible studies, & many more things less interesting & more exciting. But I really don't "get" domestic pride. (There it is! Out in the open for the entire world to see!) I have friends who take great pride in decorating. They know the names of the paint that cover their walls, (Blissful Morning, Sandy Dune.) They've got nick-knacks that harmonize with the ambiance of the room. Their furniture is their pride & joy; what their furniture is covered with is of great importance!
Honestly, I’ve had my couch for eleven years & even I can see its in bad shape. Two-by-fours are hidden beneath the cushions to keep my guests’ bottoms from sinking to the floor, for heaven’s sake! I NEED a new couch! However, I got this one from Sam’s club, two of my living room chairs were given to me, & my recliner was picked up from the side of the road with a “free” sign attached to it. I obviously have no sense of pride when it comes to my furnishings. & I have no sense of pride because I am completely illiterate of all things domestic. I seem to be incapable of roasting a simple rump of beef. My children sadly shake their heads when they’re called to the dinner table, & I don’t want to eat it either!
Give me an event to plan & I come ALIVE! Give me a song to write & I nearly crawl out of my skin with understanding. I can handle choreography, I have insight for setting a stage, I am empowered with the gift of promotions; but, Lord, don’t send me to clean my room!
I will spend an hour cleaning a room that would take my mother ten minutes. When I start putting my husband’s sudoku puzzles away I see a better way to stack his nightly reading materials, then… "Oh, look at how messy his bedside drawer is. Oh, my goodness! There it is! I’ve been looking for that. I’d better put this in my purse right now. Hey! There are those hooks I bought at the hardware store. I’ll get those up right now so I don’t forget again. Look at these stairs! That’s disgusting! I’ll go ahead & vacuum these. Oh, no! the belt’s broken! Fine. I’m exhausted anyway. I’ll just sit down for a minute… Well, since I’m sitting here I might as well check my email... That’s right. I’ve got to get that postcard designed for Hadassah." ...& all I was trying to do was clean my own room!
So, all you Domestic goddesses, enjoy your craving for cleanliness & organization. Revel in your need for cubbies & hooks. Just know that as much as I want to be like you; as many books as I’ve read, seminars I’ve attended, & prayers that I’ve prayed, I am, & seems like I’ll forever be... well, there is no name for me, I'm just somebody who likes doing what she's good at & is forever trying to improve upon what she stinks at.
Sounds like life, huh?
Honestly, I’ve had my couch for eleven years & even I can see its in bad shape. Two-by-fours are hidden beneath the cushions to keep my guests’ bottoms from sinking to the floor, for heaven’s sake! I NEED a new couch! However, I got this one from Sam’s club, two of my living room chairs were given to me, & my recliner was picked up from the side of the road with a “free” sign attached to it. I obviously have no sense of pride when it comes to my furnishings. & I have no sense of pride because I am completely illiterate of all things domestic. I seem to be incapable of roasting a simple rump of beef. My children sadly shake their heads when they’re called to the dinner table, & I don’t want to eat it either!
Give me an event to plan & I come ALIVE! Give me a song to write & I nearly crawl out of my skin with understanding. I can handle choreography, I have insight for setting a stage, I am empowered with the gift of promotions; but, Lord, don’t send me to clean my room!
I will spend an hour cleaning a room that would take my mother ten minutes. When I start putting my husband’s sudoku puzzles away I see a better way to stack his nightly reading materials, then… "Oh, look at how messy his bedside drawer is. Oh, my goodness! There it is! I’ve been looking for that. I’d better put this in my purse right now. Hey! There are those hooks I bought at the hardware store. I’ll get those up right now so I don’t forget again. Look at these stairs! That’s disgusting! I’ll go ahead & vacuum these. Oh, no! the belt’s broken! Fine. I’m exhausted anyway. I’ll just sit down for a minute… Well, since I’m sitting here I might as well check my email... That’s right. I’ve got to get that postcard designed for Hadassah." ...& all I was trying to do was clean my own room!
So, all you Domestic goddesses, enjoy your craving for cleanliness & organization. Revel in your need for cubbies & hooks. Just know that as much as I want to be like you; as many books as I’ve read, seminars I’ve attended, & prayers that I’ve prayed, I am, & seems like I’ll forever be... well, there is no name for me, I'm just somebody who likes doing what she's good at & is forever trying to improve upon what she stinks at.
Sounds like life, huh?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Search for Truth, Family Bible study, Jan. 19, '09
I'm LOVING our family Bible studies! We've had family Bible studies before, but they've mostly been impromptu; stemming from Bible memorization, an item in the news, the Pastor's sermon, etc. This is the first time we've set out to teach a series & its been delightful!
Tonight's lesson was about the fall of humanity. When Christian told about the God declaring that the serpent would lose his feet & would instead sliver around on his belly they started singing (to Carmen's old song, "I've Been Delivered") "He's been defeated!" It was hilarious! Especially the realization that the original version fit so well; "defeated by the hand of the Lord!"
Morgan was very excited to learn that the "tree of life" is mentioned again in the book of Revelation. She said, "Oh that's great! I always daydream that I live on a beautiful paradise island that's a big, beautiful garden!"
The wrap up was about how Jesus Christ was the "seed of the woman" that would crush Satan's head. We talked about how the "princes of this world" did not realize that they'd crucified the Lord of glory, & how they surely would not have; for it was by the stripes Jesus bore on his back that we have our healing, & it was by the shedding of his blood that we can partake in forgiveness, & by Christ's burial that we can be "buried with him by baptism", & by his resurrection that we are filled with the Holy Ghost!
We ended the Bible study with a powerful moment of prayer.
Thank God for His divine plan!
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